Sharing the Company of Sympathy and Empathy

I first chose this topic wanting to do a concept on the opposite end of the spectrum as my last concept of enthusiasm. I didn’t necessarily want to apply sadness in my life, but understanding, and listening. My last concept prepared me perfectly for receiving the news of Paris. As someone who has always constantly been enthusiastic and quick to respond positively, it is ironically very difficult for me to cheer others up. I was good at putting it into perspective in the long run but often times as humans all we want is a little pity party, and a “poor me” and a hug. With this concept, I feel it is the next step in dealing with trials after the initial shock. This is how we truly “comfort those in need of comfort.”

Working with children aged 5-11 there are of course going to be a lot of tears. That’s just a child’s natural way of responding to trials, and emotional stresses a good majority of the time. And as teachers we are often quicker to dry the tears and fix the “problem” than we are to slow down and listen. Kids speak and relate in movie quotes and this concept reminded me of a character in the Pixar film “Inside Out” Particularly as she says; “Crying helps me slow down and obsess over the weight of life’s problems.” Intended to be humorous it has a lot of truth to it.

To accomplish something not so tangible, I specifically had to find something that I could tangibly track. So I started with instead of monitoring my response back to students like last time, this time I didn’t respond until they had gotten everything out. When students came in upset over losing something, instead of saying “oh hey we can make a new one of find another”, I would listen to them discuss how much it meant to them and how sad they were.

This may seem like it doesn’t go anywhere for the student, but as I discussed it with the other teachers we began to have a more conscious discipline look at how we dealt with outbursts. For example, our school is set in a financially well off neighborhood and area of town but despite this culture we are not immune to the evils of the others. We recently had a shooting that put our school in code 2 lockdown for four hours. The students seemed to be fine days later. Children are sensitive; One of our toughest and athletic fifth graders got upset and start crying over the marker cap not matching the marker color. Any teacher could easily fix this situation and help him find the correct color but it takes a deeper level of understanding listening and comfort to know that he was not crying over a marker but over the recent emotional stresses from being in lock down for four hours. This conscious discipline is what will make a difference in exceptional teachers and parents in the last days. This generation is going to grow up seeing in explicable things around them in their lives and on the news. They’re more complex emotionally than we give them credit. Talking and hearing how their side of these recent news events will help them understand and deal with it in their own lives and help them comfort others sympathetically. We need a generation that knows how to “mourn with those that mourn” and we are their teachers.

Essential Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm in the home is essential especially in such a dark world. At first I was nervous this would be too shallow a topic compared to my last one of forgiveness. With two jobs, and school enthusiasm is important so ward off stress. I am constantly trying to enthusiastically exclaim that there will be time for homework, there will be time to find lunch there will be time to make it to institute, etc. However small, my problems are made easier with enthusiasm. I’ve always been positive since I was little have found a positive spin on negative things. Such as when a crayon would break I would exclaim; “I now have two crayons!” As I am finding with age problems become not so simple. So this week I have found strength in Enthusiasm through Christ.

To accomplish something not so tangible, I specifically had to find something that I could tangibly track. So I started with monitoring my response back to students such as excitedly saying that because they spilled we can now learn how to clean it up. OR that because it is raining outside we can now get the puppets out to play instead. I found a plethora of quips back to students that cheered them up instead of things that focused on their mistakes or on circumstances out of our control. I also increased my personal study of conference talks alongside my scripture study. This strengthened my personal enthusiasm in situations and my reliance on the Savior. The more I did this slowly my default emotion or response to every situation became the lighter side to look at things. I was proud with my progress.

It just seemed so simple, I should have known that Christ was preparing me. I lived in Paris this summer. The street where the shootings where. That was my neighborhood and my family. Despite that whole week of preparation, my initial response was not enthusiasm. I couldn’t stop focusing on the negative of how things are only going to get worse. Somethings that happen within our classrooms and families, or even in the world are going to seem darker than we can handle. Teachers are enthusiastic all over the world, despite all the evil that prevents their students from learning and growing. As teachers we are fighting against so many things that fight for our students’ attention or lives.

Students are going to lose parents, pets, or we may experience inexplicable trauma. It is important in these last days that we find that strength in our Savior and bring that light into the classroom not the darkness from the world. Students and families need enthusiasm to learn.  An enthusiastic greeting as they walk in the classroom will start the day off by showing them that this is a safe classroom for learning; separate from whatever may be negative in their lives. This can not only affect our students, but our colleagues as well. This enthusiasm thorough Christ’s strength (because sometimes we just can’t do it alone) for life, and learning and humanity will then spread through the staff, the students, and then onto families. Enthusiasm will spread like wildfire through the teachers of the world.  This generation is going to know darkness and need to learn light.

Fortress of Forgiveness

Each month I chose a concept to apply and then reflect upon; I chose to apply forgiveness in my life. The deeper into application I got, I realized I would have to create a more specific topic stemming from my original general idea. Upon further investigation, I have chosen forgiveness in the sense of understanding. Many cultures, religions and languages have a concept of forgiveness. Its understanding how these different concepts apply and what they mean to others that I’ve studied. To accomplish this specifically, and track it per say, I begin to monitor and closely look at my internal reactions I have for explanations. So as I posed a question to one of my kindergartners I was extra careful to listen and then pause and watch what I thought, because I often can see it as “He shouldn’t have kicked that across the gym; he knows the rules.” When he might see it as “I was running and the ball was in the way, and I didn’t want to trip and so I kicked it out of the way.” It isn’t until I stopped to hear his side and chose to see it as he said that I could clear my side and be forgiving and trust his honesty in order to forgive and overlook a stray ball. Something as small as being unforgiving over a stray ball isn’t going to hinder the spirit in my personal life as much as holding a grudge with my boyfriend might. Reviewing this in my life opened up an understanding that as I held a certain grudge or mulled over a petty situation, I opened myself to a spirit of irritability and frustration that I then manifest in my classroom. Doing so is damaging to not only us as the instructor, but the students who were simply a third undeserving party. We can say sorry, and ask for forgiveness and regret that we brought this irritability that won’t seem to leave, but that isn’t understanding. It isn’t until we understand they “why” or reason of somebody’s actions that we are able to start the process of forgiving. If I keep looking at the situation from our perspective we stick ourselves into a rut of misunderstanding and confusion. We may wonder why our child is only calling you now, five minutes after the dance got over for a ride home. It’s no different from the child who has climbed onto the counter to reach the peanut butter proud to have their end goal obtained only to have us walk in upset and unforgiving explaining “Did you not think to plan before you got yourself there?!” This relates to teaching because we can’t allow our missing spirit to affect the classroom’s light. Similarly we need this very understanding to parent. Children are going to act to the best of their knowledge and understanding which generally tends to stem upon the immediate consequence and need at the present moment. Learning this level of forgiveness brings us to understanding and a level of teaching and reverence.

https://www.lds.org/family/forgiveness?lang=eng